just that moment of weakness,
i lost it,
never did i think of the consequences..
and now i'm left to deal with it.

the feelings in me,
they're all jumbled up,
i can't think now,
i think im losing it now.

i don't want to make a rash decision,
i don't want to go further.
i can't bear for this to happen,
don't want it to happen.

i don't want the bindng of a knot,
to reveal the true colours,
causing us to fight,
over just a small matter.

and then when it all comes to an end,
when no one is spared on the battlefield,
you and i turn cold,
silence...

i want this to stay stagnant,
as it is now.
i don't want to lose you,
like how i lost the rest.

you deserve much better
sometimes i fear if im just a mistake,
i don't want to hurt you,
like how i wouldn't want you to hurt me.

maybe sometimes its not all about a happy ending,
maybe sometimes it's how far you want things to go,
the measures one takes to prevent a bitter ending from occuring.

im not good at this,
im like the wind,
always changing directions,
seeking new destinations,
my heart will never rest,
it shall never taste the earth,
im always away,
away from reality and the truth,

i choose to be away,
away from the pain that often settles in me.
it's hard for me to love,
love has become a stranger to me.

maybe no one understands,
but this is how i feel.
maybe i can only put so much in words,
yet i guess i'll never know me.




(10:22 PM)