OMG!
i feel like an idiot,
ive been behaving like a stupid jerk,
if only someone could just shoot me for being such a jerk.
or slap me awake.
argh!

why am i so stupid?
why,
why..

please 27th february,
come fast..
this is killing me..
i can't keep it in longer..

gosh..

know what ive been wondering about what hazwin said,
about relationships.
his opinion is that the girl usually controls the relationship.
he gave me 2 scenarios,

1. if a girl likes this guy, but the guy doesn't, theres still a chance for them to end up together.
2. but if a guy likes this girl, and though matter how hard he tries, if the girl doesnt fancy him,
she never will.

when i went home to think about the situation,
i just thought man this sucks,
true enough hazwin,
shit happens,
and for me it happens every single nanosecond of my life..

haiz..
but ive made my decision,
and i won't turn back on it,
yes i know it's outcome..

people will hate me to the core,
but what can i do,
when i make a decision,
its for the long-run..
for what be happy for just a moment,
when you know tomorrow you're gonna suffer.

blame me for my stupidity,
blame me for my cold-heartedness,
blame me for worrying about the future,
blame me for not even trying,
you can blame me for everything.

for what i know,
it's for the best..

i guess it just my intuition,
i know when something bad is gonna happen,
yesterday i had that exact feeling
and true enough something happened at home.

i trust my intuition,
and it's telling me to stop,
before everything goes haywire.

people say let nature take it's course,
ive been there done that,
and the ending isn't really good at all.

i may worry too much,
but what would the world be if
such people like me didn't exist,
maybe no one would worry what tomorrow brings,
and the world would be a far miserable cry.

remember,
above all else i must guard my heart.
without it i'll lose my strength, faith and sanity.
i'd end up a lost soul,
with no where to go.

love is a dangerous thing,
and im a coward when it comes to this game,
only the strongest last and
unfortunately im not one of them.

(2:14 PM)